Resolving Disagreement
![[Quotes#^448662]]
We should be arguing in a constructive fashion: treating arguments as an opportunity to [[Learning|expand knowledge]], finding points of disagreement, and [[Coordination|collaborating]] towards a common truth. A few assumptions are required to have a successfully disagreement:
- Epistemic humility. “It’s possible that I might be the one who’s wrong here”.
- Arguments are not soldiers. Most people go into debate with a war-like mentality, they feel they must fly the flag for all points that their side supports, regardless of how much they actually agree with them.
- Do not be afraid to agree with the arguments of the other side when they strike you as reasonable, and critique the arguments of your own side when they strike you as unreasonable.
- Good faith. An assumption that people believe things for causal reasons. Assume good intentions.
- Confidence in the existence of objective truth or a better position.
- [[Curiosity]] and/or a desire to uncover truth.
- As much data as possible to backup claims. Cognitive biases are limits and mistakes in human judgment that prevent someone from acting rationally. They are present in every aspect of human life, and in tense situations like arguments, they tend to appear more often as emotions are heightened and the brain gets overloaded.
- Agree on the terminology. Similar understanding of terms makes discussion more productive.
- Separate the topic from the community. E.g: cryptocurrencies have toxic communities but very interesting ideas.
- If you debate it it right, you’ll end up respecting the other person.
- Sometimes, you’ll end up with high-level generators of disagreement. It is what remains when everyone understands exactly what’s being argued, and agrees on what all the evidence says, but have vague and hard-to-define reasons for disagreeing anyway.
- Make disagreement fun:
- Your motivation for arguing is more “obsession with finding the truth” than “winning a competitive game”.
- Adjust your conviction level to fit your knowledge of the topic.
- Attack my ideas, not people. Assume everyone is doing the same and don’t take disagreements personally.
- Never agree with me just for the sake of being agreeable.
- Acknowledge when you are wrong.
Specific strategies we can employ to make sure a debate stays as constructive as possible:
- Let your opponent know exactly how strongly you feel about a certain argument.
- Find the [[Double Crux]]. The point where you and your opponent’s argument intersect.
- Restate someone’s point back to them to make sure you understood it correctly. This is called echoing and is more necessary for synchronous debates where information flows quickly. Not only does this make them feel heard, it also allows them the chance to clarify their beliefs.
- Leave your partner a line of retreat.
- Instead of taking on a weaker version of your opponent’s argument, help the entire debate out by thinking of the best and most charitable version of your opponent’s argument, then repeat it back to them to see if it makes sense.
Make sure you’re arguing efficiently. We feel the most compulsion to distinguish ourselves from people who are most similar to us. We spend a lot of energy attacking other groups who agree with us 90% but we fight over the remaining 10%.
Tips to argue efficiently:
- Acknowledge the positive intentions. Try to understanding his or her rationale and state it out loud directly to them.
- Express what you see and what you think! Remember, kindness matters. You might be looking at a screen or shouting to a device, but you are really [[talking]] to a person.
- Identify and propose a solution. You should try to build consensus by demonstrating how your solution will resolve everyone’s concerns, not just your own.
- Outline the benefits and advantages of your proposal.
- Understanding. Either nail down agreement on a next action or step, or work together to develop alternatives.